I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
