I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
