She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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