yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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