I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
