question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
