You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
