I got chris browned last night
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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