Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
