And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just gift wrapped bread.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
