I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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