Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
