Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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