i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
