i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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