yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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