Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
