Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
