do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
