She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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