Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
