She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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