Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
