Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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