can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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