he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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