Cold hands, warm shart.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
