I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
