so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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