I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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