I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
