We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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