he puts the penis in happiness.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
