Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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