I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
