i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
