He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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