Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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