The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
