then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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