I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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