so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
