Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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