Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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