He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
