Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
