i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
