Dual....:-)
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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