IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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