Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
