the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
