u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize