Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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