Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
