I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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