You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just gargled with NyQuil
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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