dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
