he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize
