Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
