you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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