Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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