You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
