everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
