Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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