if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
