i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have tasted many bathrooms
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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