That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
