Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
