im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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