no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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