the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
